“Hogfish.net – scaring your children since 1997!”

Such was the highly misinformative catchphrase used by partygoers everywhere from the late nineties and well into the 1800′s. Since then, hogfish.net has become a household name. Housewives are always asking “Honey, where did I put the hogfish.net?” and usually the husbands will reply “The what? Heavens to Betsy, she’s got the vapours!” and then smelling salts would be produced and it would all be rather embarassing. Nobody likes the vapours.

It is a little-known fact that hogfish.net was founded by non other than the Emperor of Tasmania on his 85th birthday. Legend has it that the Emperor was hungry one day and he asked for a domain name as a tasty snack. His loyal subjects were only too happy to provide and they chose the tastiest sounding domain name they could find. Hogfish.net is of course that domain name, combining the delicious elements of salty pork and nutritious fish in one wholesome web address.

It is this reason, and not the story that the natives would have you believe, that Tasmania was eventually invaded by the mainland inhabitants and every last hogfish was hunted down and killed. The Emperor put a terrible curse on them, and since then, mainland Australia has always suffered from very itchy grass. Luckily nobody walks barefoot in the itchy grass because there are snakes in it, so it all balances out.

We at hogfish.net welcome you to our site and hope you enjoy your stay. Tell all of your friends about the goodness and wholegrain wheat of hogfish.net and your soul will be all the better for it. Really, it’s the first thing Saint Peter checks at the gate.

And if you’ve made it down this far, thanks once again for letting me waste this much of your time.